I'm Home!

Just got home... I'm GLAD I was discharged, but had I realized what Pittsburgh travel is like on Routew 28 North on a Friday afternoon at supper time, we could have stayed at the hospital for a couple more hours and THEN left... and gotten here at exactly the same moment!! (OK... maybe I'm exagerating a little bit... Frankly, I'm just praising God for a wife who is an EXCELLENT driver with TONS of patience...Thanks Gay!!! Thanks GOD!!!!)

I'll write more later on!

Hospital Notes

on Monday, Gay & I got to Pittsburgh at about 5:30 am with my surgery set for 7:30.

the surgery went well (or so they told me). I now have some laproscopic holes and some normal incisions on my left side where the kidney actually came out.

and LOTS OF STAPLES!

a friend (Keith) met us there, so even after I left, she didn't have to wait alone.

People from ALL OVER have sent cards, flowers, phoned, and visited! WOW!!!

THANKS!!!!!

Weeping Jesus

Today is one of those "day of infamy" kind of days... Lexington & Concord, Waco, Ruby Ridge, and Oklahoma City. And it's not just today, but the entire week. Tomorrow marks the anniversary of the Columbine Massacre. And now, we add the horror of Virginia Tech.

Today's post was written shortly after our family returned from a cross-country educational field trip in 2002 when I was pastor in Patton, PA. When we got to Oklahoma City it had been a mere 4 months since the September 11th attacks and I was simply overwhelmed by what I saw in Oklahoma City. Here is my pastor's letter from our Trinity UMC newsletter for March during Lent of that year.

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In January, my family visited the National Memorial in downtown Oklahoma City. After we explained to our girls the horrific story of the April 19, 1995, bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah federal building, we began walking through the memorial that has since been built on the spot where the building once stood. I have never been so moved as I was that day.

At each end are huge gates… one representing the moment before the bombing (9:01 a.m.) and the other representing the moment after the attack (9:03 a.m.). And in between those two gates… in between those two moments… was the blast and its aftermath. Each of the lives lost is symbolized by an empty chair bearing the name of one of the 168 victims. Walking around the reflecting pool, looking at the chairs and the remains of the one piece of wall that still stands, I slowly began to realize that the chairs were of different sizes… and I remembered that 19 of those killed were innocent children at play in their day-care center. And I was struck by the horror of it all over again.

At each end of the memorial site stand two church buildings that had also been damaged in the blast. Across the street at the eastern end is the United Methodist Church, which included an open chapel on the grounds when they rebuilt, complete with helpful brochures, healing pamphlets, and even free Bibles, offering the peace of Christ and the hope of Jesus to any who want to leave the terror behind.

Across the street at the western end is a Roman Catholic Church, that commissioned a memorial of their own when they rebuilt: a statue of Jesus, with his back to the grisly destruction, weeping.

Jesus Christ, weeps in the face of such hatred that would be so violent and murderous. He turns his back to such evil and destruction. God cannot stand sin… sin cannot abide in his presence. According to the Gospels, God the Father hid his face from His own Son when He was bearing our sins on that cross so long ago.

Engraved on the gates of the Oklahoma City Memorial are these words: “We come here to remember those who were killed, those who survived and those changed forever...May all who leave here know the impact of violence…”

We need to remember. Especially in light of the unimaginable events that we have since lived through in this past year. Terrorism is well named. For it is terror we feel when faced with these unthinkable, cowardly acts of violence. There is no protection it seems, no hope, no safety, no peace, when faced with terror.

Yet, we are reminded by these two churches, and by the Scriptures, that even though our Lord despises and rejects such hatred, He is never untouched by the pain and the suffering. His back may be turned to evil, but his face is filled with tears of compassion and love. He promises to walk through the darkest of times hand-in-hand with anyone of us who calls on Him and allows Him to bring us His peace and His comfort.

Back here in our church, we are preparing again for the celebration of Easter, reminding us that Christ is victorious over sin and death. But as we journey towards that glorious celebration of His resurrection, we are called to remember his broken body and His shed blood as He turned His back to a cross and allowed Himself to be nailed to it in order to once and for all time purchase our eternal freedom. Since God cannot allow sin into His presence, and every one of us has sinned, we were all doomed for an eternity separated from God… an eternal death. But Jesus Christ, the only one who ever walked through life without ever sinning, took our place… facing death and hell so that we could be freed from that judgment of eternal death. Like when someone chooses to pay off a debt for you that you knew you’d never be able to pay.

In this time of uncertainty, when the terror and fear and sin is so clearly visible, it is time for us to return to the weeping Jesus, and remember His death until He comes again.

Church Fathers

OK... here is the other quiz Keith referenced in his blog...

You’re Origen! You do nothing by half-measures. If you’re going to read the Bible, you want to read it in the original languages. If you’re going to teach, you’re going to reach as many souls as possible, through a proliferation of lectures and books. If you’re a guy and you’re going to fight for purity … well, you’d better hide the kitchen shears. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

Superheroes!

I ran across a couple of quizzes on my friend Keith's blog and, since I was still trying to find my consciousness at 6:00 am on a Saturday morning, I decided to try them. This is the first one... Superheroes! Check it out!
Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 75% Hulk 75% Spider-Man 70% Green Lantern 70% Batman 65% Robin 52% Iron Man 50% Supergirl 42% Catwoman 35% The Flash 25% Wonder Woman 17%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

My Confession

I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does.

--Dayton Mix, 2007, AND ALSO The Apostle Paul, Romans 7:19-25a from The Message

Jesus, First Fruits

I wrote this devotional originally as the Easter Day entry for a Lenten Devotional my church in Patton, PA compiled in Spring 2001.
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“But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.”

–1 Corinthians 15:20 (NIV)

I grew up around a farm. I didn’t really live there, I just hung out there a lot. It was my grandfather’s and I basically just visited on the weekends and stayed most of every summer, but I proudly considered myself a “farmboy.”

Truth is, I helped in the haymaking each summer, and usually got to go out with Grandpa gathering sap once or twice each Spring, and a couple of times gathered eggs from the henhouse. That’s it. Not much of a farm life after all.

BUT, I remember the wait for the fresh peas and green beans from Grandpa’s garden. Oh, and the corn on the cob, too! I could hardly wait for Grandpa to say they were ready, ‘It’s about time we tried some of those peas and beans.’ (He actually liked the onions and turnips and asparagus too, but even grandparents can’t always be perfect, I suppose).

And that first small serving of fresh vegetables, that first taste of the fruit of Grandpa’s hard work, was delicious! But with that first taste of those “first fruits” came the knowledge that much more was on its way! We wouldn’t have to wait much longer!

It doesn’t take much of a farm boy to recognize the parallel in our Christian walk when Paul talks about death and uses Christ’s resurrection as the “firstfruits” of the resurrection to eternal life that all believers will experience. If we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior, then we can look at Christ and recognize that His resurrection is merely a “firstfruits” of ALL believers’ resurrections to come. There is HOPE of what is yet to come! For us… and for our loved ones in Christ who have already “fallen asleep” through death.

Oh Christ, You are only the FIRST fruits of resurrection. HALLELUJAH!!!

Stand In The Gap

Every Wednesday morning there is a group of guys that gather at the local restaurant at 6:00 am for prayer, devotions, and breakfast. The group started after several men had experienced the life-changing Promise Keepers events. They call themselves the Men of Promise and this is the basics of the devotions I did when it was my turn a couple of weeks ago, March 21, 2007

“Fed up, God decided to get rid of them— and except for Moses, his chosen, he would have. But Moses stood in the gap and deflected God’s anger, prevented it from destroying them utterly.”

— Psalm 106:23 (The Message)

“I looked for someone to stand up for me against all this, to repair the defenses of the city, to take a stand for me and stand in the gap to protect this land so I wouldn’t have to destroy it. I couldn’t find anyone. Not one.”

—Ezekiel 22:30 (The Message)

Oh God, how many times are we, your chosen people in this day and age, the very ones you’re waiting for so that we can “stand in the gap” to turn away your anger like Moses did? Like you kept wanting someone to do in Ezekiel’s day, and you never did find someone who would do that?

Is this the explanation of how it is that you could “change your mind” in the Old Testament stories? I wonder if in every situation where people faced Your judgment, that it was always your intention to grant mercy to them IF someone would simply “stand in the gap” in order to “turn away your anger.” The judgment is deserved, but you’d rather offer grace and mercy and forgiveness… if someone would just intervene and intercede.

You judged the people in the desert and they deserved to die...but Moses intervened, he stepped in and pleaded desperately for them… and for his sake, you showed them mercy. You didn’t give them what they really deserved….

You judged the people in Ezekiel’s day and sent Ezekiel with your message and kept waiting for someone on the receiving end of that message to step in and plead for mercy for your people… and no one did… and so the judgment was carried out.

Today, the world around us clearly has walked away from your ways. If you’re truly a righteous and just God, then You have to judge us… our people, our land, our nation… You’ve sent your warnings. Is the seeming pause we sense just a God-given chance for us, your chosen people, to “stand in the gap” and plead for our friends and neighbors and relatives? To plead for mercy? To pray for forgiveness?

O God… we modern American Christians are more likely to condemn those around us than we are to be an advocate for them. We see their sin and think “God’ll get you for that!”

We are SO wrong! Forgive us O God and change our wicked hearts! Give us the compassion and love of Moses that he felt for his friends and neighbors and relatives. Teach us to stand in the gap!

When I see the blood... a.k.a. Passover

I took my wife to her doctor yesterday afternoon and as we got back into the van I cracked my head on one of the little doors hanging from the ceiling that normal people use for sunglasses. Impaled is probably a more accurate term.

When I finally was able to pull my hand away from the intense pain, Gay informed me that I was bleeding... in fact, profusely bleeding down the side of my head, neck, and onto my shirt. I put my other hand back to check and literally had a red hand.

So we traded places and she drove me across the street to the emergency room.

I learned a few things in the next 30 minutes:

1. The head is a VERY vascular area! LOTS and LOTS of blood!

2. Profuse bleeding seems to get you moved to the FRONT of the line in the triage area.

3. Even when the calendar says it's the day of Passover, my wife still can NOT appreciate my jokes about "when I see the blood" people will allow you to "pass over" the line ahead of you.

The long and short of it is that I was treated, stitched up (four stitches... at the front of my ever growing bald spot), and the nurse and student nurse were cleaning up the blood from my hair and neck before registration was able to get back there and have me sign for treatment and 'admit' me to the ER. Literally three minutes later I was discharged and walking out.

Oh... and I was EXTREMELY cautious about getting back into the van to come home.

I'm fine... just embarassed... again!

Well, gotta go... today is the day the local men gather at the local restaurant for a 6:00 am prayer breakfast.

Inappropriate, Intolerable, & Embarassing

An article about a Pittsburgh centered Sexual Wholeness Seminar appeared in the March 2007 newsletter for First United Methodist Church of Pittsburgh. Since I first learned of it two weeks ago, over two dozen people from around our Annual Conference have written, emailed, called, and/or met with me trying to understand and make sense of this article... especially since I am the chair of the conference's Nurture Team. Even the bishop himself has been a part of that group wanting to have conversation in this matter.

In a matter of less than 20 days I'm scheduled to have major surgery... I can no longer afford to have large portions of my day spent addressing somebody else's words and opinions. As a fellow friend likes to say regarding the work we all do on the conference level, "It's important to remember that this isn't our day job."

While I am not trying to offer offense, neither am I trying to offer defense for other people's words. Therefore, here, in one setting, is my "take" on the events and comments.

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BACKGROUND
So how did this all get started? I started as Nurture chair in September 2006. The day I was to go to my first conference council meeting I got word that it was cancelled. Someone at the conference center level of leadership stated that there wasn't really anything important that we needed to meet for. The next month a conference center employee was buried in the morning, so again, the evening meeting was cancelled.

During that next month (November), I was contacted by one of the planners of the seminar, who explained that he had been directed to contact me by the conference center since it was my team who was entrusted with some monies for 'other nurture initiatives.' The verbal description of the event planned seemed to be both biblical and within the stated policy of the United Methodist Church, so I wasn't too worried and agreed that his group was welcome to submit more details about their plan and we would consider the request at our upcoming meeting. I was particularly pleased to hear that the organizers had already met with the bishop and had a sense that he was ok with such a seminar as long as it wasn't just an excuse to try to force reorientation on homosexuals. The leaders assured me, as they said they had the bishop, that this was NOT a goal anyone had in mind.

I contacted the conference steward to double check the accuracy of the claims I had just heard (about being refered by them) and discussed the availability of funds for specific projects such as this. I was encouraged in both.

The next day I wrote to all Nurture Team members that I had contact information for, alerting them that at our upcoming meeting there were budget requirements that we needed to discuss and that we had a request from a group asking for financial support. On November 27, 2006, the Nurture Team met. There were few people in attendance, but the conversation centered on the fact that our annual conference entrusted Nurture with funds to try and initiate 'other nurture initiatives' and it was great that someone wanted to actually do something. Yes, we could support that... although our specific financial help would basically be buying food and beverage for participants.

That evening, at my very first conference council meeting, when it was my turn to report, I shared the basics of what our team had discussed and specifically reported that we had voted to give $800 from the 2006 budget and $800 from the 2007 budget to this event scheduled for 2/24/07 on sexual wholeness.

Nobody said a word. No questions. No concerns. No discussion. Not even the conference staff representative. Not even the bishop.

When the brochure came out, I was particularly watching for the way the event was presented... to see if it honored the alleged request of the bishop. I saw nothing that suggested forced re-orientation for homosexuals and was impressed that the word 'homosexual' didn't even appear. What the brochure called for was an equipping for those who minister to people who have experienced pain because of the sexual abuse, pornography, same sex attractions, or addictions.

Frankly, I've known people who have suffered great pain because of their struggles with each one of those things... I thought it was well worded. Offering help for those who have had pain... but not offering condemnation for those who have not... just focusing on those who have struggled.

I called the conference center and verbally signed off on the event as nurture chair. And thought it was a done deal. The event was held. It was well attended. The food was great. The discussions and the presentations focused on compassion and how to minister to people who came to us with pain from their personal struggle. I thought it was remarkably well done! In fact, I've already blogged about the article I wrote for the conference newspaper. CLICK HERE TO READ THAT BLOG ENTRY.

THE PHONE CALL
In the midst of all of this, there was another group that was asking for money from Nurture for a clinic on evangelism. This is already in the budget the annual conference had passed long before I stepped into the position, so, again, I wasn't very worried about it. Following conversation with that group's leadership, I was asked to see if the bishop would be able to attend, and if so, would he like a chance to speak.

So I called the bishop's secretary and passed on the request. About a week later, I received a call back from her saying that the bishop would be unable to attend the evangelism clinic but would like to have conversation about it before the event occured.

I asked a couple of the leaders of the clinic if we had somehow missed a step and described the secretary's phone call to me.

Within a few days, I had been contacted by several people asking if the bishop were upset about the evangelism clinic or was this some kind of residual from the sexual wholeness event. I assured them that the bishop's invitation to meet was in regards to the clinic and I was certain it was probably going to result in some quote for me to read saying he regretted not being able to attend the clinic.

FIRST UMC: PGH REPORTS
The day before my scheduled meeting, a leader of the sexual wholeness event stumbled onto the newsletter I mentioned from First UMC in Pittsburgh... This is the article:

Sexual Wholeness Seminar
by Pastor Bob Wilson
A whirlwind of response occurred when our congregation learned of this seminar which included in its publicity the following sentence: “You are invited to a one day seminar that recognizes the pain in our pulpits and pews that results from sexual abuse, pornography addictions, same-sex attractions and sexual addictions.”

One result was the following e-mail exchange between Bishop Bickerton and Pastor Bob Wilson

Dear Bishop Bickerton,
As you can imagine, when our congregation learned of the Sexual Wholeness Seminar, I found myself coping with many varied responses. For most of those responses I can offer pastoral support and direction. However, I need assistance in regard to the inquiries I am receiving about the place of the Annual Conference in this event. The fact that the Conference Nurture Team has given seed money has significantly shaped the response of First Church people. . . .
Peace...
Bob

Greetings sisters and brothers at First Church,
I have been made aware of your concerns surrounding the Sexual Wholeness Workshop. I did not know until after the fact that the Conference Nurture Team had provided seed money and that the brochure had been sent in the Conference monthly mailing. Both actions were inappropriate and caused a degree of hurt that could have easily been avoided.

The Nurture Team acted in isolation from the Conference Council. I am very concerned about how we do and don’t hold each other accountable as we seek to maintain appropriate checks and balances in the implementation of the ministry of our conference.

The hurt this incident has caused to a significant and valued part of our body is intolerable and embarrassing to me as our leader. Please know that I remain committed to being a Bishop for this whole conference.

May God's richest blessings be yours. Know that the congregation and the ministry of First Church are valued and appreciated as “The journey continues. . . ”
Bishop Thomas J. Bickerton

As events unfolded, Tracy Merrick was invited by the Workshop Leadership to speak to all present. Tracy effectively communicated to the body areas of common ground and why dialogue is important and needs to continue. He concluded with a clear and firm statement that there are many, like himself and the congregation of First United Methodist Church of Pittsburgh, who believe that homosexual orientation and relationships are not a sin, but rather a part of God’s diverse plan.

Both Tracy Merrick and Pastor Bob Wilson were present at the workshop. Either one is willing to share with you their reflections on the day.

THE MEETING WITH THE BISHOP
My world was jarred by reading the bishop's words "The Nurture team acted in isolation" and that our actions were "inappropriate," "intolerable," and "embarassing."

When I met with the bishop, he stated that he meant the 'misunderstanding' about the communication breakdowns were inappropriate, intolerable, and embarassing. Also, he said a major concern was the division that he felt came about because of this event. The hurt created was intolerable and embarassing.

When I outlined what I had done in trying to NOT act outside of the proper channels, I then asked what I did wrong... so that I could do it better next time. He looked at me and said, "you did nothing wrong." And then he again referred to a 'broken' system where people don't bother showing up for meetings and so people miss major pieces of information and then blame and accusation start to fly around.

I shared that in reading his comments to First UMC it sounded like he personally was taking me to task as the Nurture Team chair. He claimed he didn't mean it to be and then apologized to me.

He stressed that there were so many areas of ministry that we could all agree on that we really should be focusing on those areas.

THE FOLLOWUP
I've waited to see how the bishop cleared this up with First church, but nothing at all appeared in their April newsletter. Meanwhile, as I said earlier, more than two dozen have called, written, or personally approached me asking if the bishop was simply lying or what? Was he caving in to political pressure? Was he betraying some hidden agenda? Was he really taking a stand against the Discipline and the Bible? Were the folks at First Church considered more important than the 'rest of us?' If so, then how could he claim to be committed to being bishop for the whole conference?

Some talked of letters to all annual conference laity and clergy members. Some talked of formal meetings. Some talked about general & jurisdictional elections... especially since the bishop has asked for 'no politics' in our deliberations this year in these areas.

MY CONCLUSIONS... THUS FAR...
I've tried to suggest that this probably isn't so black and white.

I do not think the bishop was lying. I think that night when I was presenting my report about this event, I think his mind wandered. Apparently so did everyone else. Why would I have anything important to say? I honestly believe him that he didn't hear anything about this from me.

I don't understand the accusation of division... the event called for an equipping of compassionate outreach to those who seek us out and self-report their own pain and struggle. Where's the division there?

As for only doing the ministries where we all agree...
--I've seen the national news show leaders of the general church United Methodist Women marching in a parade supporting all abortion with a banner flounting the United Methodist name... and that's NOT our stand...
--I was in a meeting (conference council again) where our Witness Team bragged about $10,000 going to a lobbying group... and I know the disagreements created when those lobbying positions are formed...
--The facilities of United Methodist sites have been used for same sex unions and yet we don't all agree on that topic...

In each of those situations I've been informed that we are a large and diverse church with many opinions and yet room for all... So why would this event be different? Exactly where is the 'intolerance?'

I don't think anyone seriously wants us to only support ministries where everyone agrees.

FINAL THOUGHTS FOR TODAY
All of a sudden, I seem to be the enemy of some and the darling poster child for others... and yet I do not belong to any church political faction. I've never been to an Evangelical Connection meeting nor to a Methodist Federation for Social Action meeting... although I share concerns with both groups. When Annual Conference rolls around, I don't go to ANY of the factional groups... I just work with the conference secretary behind the scenes... I strongly believe that we can discern God's will as a conference... not just as factions who push for our stand. God WILL reveal Himself through the assembled conference... but will we let Him? When Annual Conference meets (or General Conference meets) and discerns God's will, can we then abide by that group discernment... or do we just go back to our corners and plot our strategy to get our own way next time? Is THAT the accountable way? Is THAT really allowing God to speak through the conference?

I have tried to be faithful to ALL who might have a concern... and somehow feel like a scapegoat.

I have tried to serve in this role as Nurture chair with integrity. I have made calls, written letters and emails, and done A LOT of driving over A LOT of miles to be faithful to be in accountable communication. I have even driven to the conference center (about 2+ hours drive from where I am appointed) for a conference council meeting in January of this year when it was cancelled and yet no one had alerted me. I am trying to 'work within the system.'

Finally, I have struggled with this posting. As another friend likes to point out, I am an expressive who enjoys being at peace with people. I don't like people thinking badly about me or disapproving of what I do.

But I cannot afford the time to have people keep calling to have me explain someone else's words.

I simply need the facts to be out there so that I can on with my 'day job' and then focus on my own personal health.

Because the church has a mission... and infighting, accusation, and suspicion is not it.